Ether
by lalalei
Summary: It's been 20 years since Death-T, give or take, and Seto Kaiba is still in a coma from the Mind Crush. Mokuba Kaiba reflects on the past as he prepares to make a decision. Set after the Toei anime, commonly known as "Season Zero."


Mokuba glances down at the papers and restates the facts, as if it will make it any easier to process the choice looming before him.

20 years ago, his brother Seto Kaiba received the Mind Crush Penalty Game after losing to Yugi Muto's other self at Death-T.

The Mind Crush put him into a coma.

Seto never woke up.

* * *

At first, before the weight of time, he had been relatively hopeful. Sure, his brother had done awful things, but the point of the Mind Crush was to heal him, for Seto to heal himself. To retrieve his shattered heart piece by piece and mold himself into the person Mokuba remembered from their childhood—or at least the closest equivalent.

When six months passed and there was no light in his brother's eyes, something deep inside him mourned before he was consciously aware. Mokuba spent the next week after going through old photos and videos, sharing them with Seto and describing them as if all he needed was a bit of extra effort put in.

Seto never responded, but sometimes Mokuba imagined he would. It was better than thinking he wouldn't, and so Mokuba stood by him in the days and weeks and months and years since.

* * *

He'd tried, once, to— _replace_ wasn't the right word, would never be the right word—cope with a substitute until he woke up. One of the last projects Seto had worked on before the incident was a robotic version of himself, and Mokuba had decided soon after the Mind Crush that having it on would help tide things over.

The cybernetic Seto sounded like his brother and acted like him, but his hair was brown where it should have been green, eyes ice blue where they should have been piercing gold, and the differences were more than cosmetic. He knew Seto's deck and had a rudimentary version of his memories up until _that day_ , but nothing after. He created a tournament, using a scheme Seto would likely have approved of, and lost to Yugi—but unlike his real brother, this Seto accepted the loss gracefully and vowed to duel him again.

Mokuba wasn't sure what to think of the robotic Seto acting more humane than the real thing, but he also noted, with a heavy heart, that Seto hadn't seemed to give his double any memories of a brother. Cyber Kaiba, as the employees called him, treated Mokuba as he would anyone new to him—as a stranger, with more than a hint of disdain.

Perhaps in time he would heave learned, would have grown, but at the time Mokuba was impatient, a little hurt, and unwilling to compromise—it hadn't been _that_ long since the Mind Crush; what would Seto think if he woke up and saw him being buddy-buddy with a creation he'd made on a whim? So he'd turned the duplicate off, leaving him to collect dust among KaibaCorp's other disused inventions.

From that point, he'd found himself, against everything he thought possible, connecting with Yugi and his friends.

* * *

Mokuba had no reason to hold a grudge against Yugi before, but he certainly did in the first few months and years following the Mind Crush. He'd seriously contemplated rebuilding Death-T, bigger and badder and more lethal than what Seto could plan, but his schemes were childish, and there was a company to run, and Yugi visited his brother whenever he could, which soothed the growing hatred inside him and replaced it with something like comfort.

Yugi held both himself and his other self responsible for the matter, as if what Seto had tried to do to them all was forgiven. The other Yugi had apologized after the first six months with no change, and reluctantly admitted there was no way to undo the punishment, as it was something Seto had to overcome. Mokuba hadn't expected there to be an easy out, and if anything it had made him more hopeful, as he'd never found a challenge that his brother couldn't solve.

Mokuba doubted Joey would forgive and forget what Seto had done so easily, but eventually even he had gazed at Mokuba with regret in his eyes. His lavender-haired sister Serenity, along with the fashion-conscious Miho, had both visited to try and make Seto presentable, as if making him _look_ lively would result in him vaulting out of bed. Tristan kept Seto's room and clothing pristine and spotless, while Tea helped chase paparazzi away, who after all this time were still interested in the Kaiba brothers' story and its tragic end.

Ryou Bakura visited on occasion, though early on his eyes seemed to change shape and color at times. When that happened Mokuba felt safest ordering him out, and while Ryou's appearance and demeanor hadn't shifted in years, Mokuba felt most comfortable in routines. When Ryou was around, at times he stared and said nothing for the entire visit. On others he asked Mokuba odd, startling questions: "How would you feel if he woke up and saw you asleep?" "Do you think it's possible to be lonely to death?" "At what point do memories begin to fade into dreams?" Mokuba rarely had answers, but Ryou asked all the same. Maybe answering in itself was important; after all these years he still isn't sure.

* * *

The word _If_ devours his existence.

* * *

And there was Pegasus, his smile as plastered and wide as the cartoon characters he loved. The eccentric president of I2 had a fondness for old cartoons, and spent lavish amounts of money to be able to watch them on old film reels, the mediums where they were first presented. He wore an Eye as bright and golden as his hair that, he claimed, could read minds. Mokuba didn't trust him, frankly, but anything that might help Seto—anything that might get a _reaction_ —was better, he thought, than nothing.

Mokuba found himself wishing he hadn't asked when Pegasus, after reading his brother's mind, collapsed and was rendered unconscious for three days. When he woke, he bid the young man goodbye in a strained, hushed tone, only stopping once to say he was dearly sorry. Pegasus refused to elaborate on who or what the apology was for, and Mokuba wasn't sure he wanted to know.

* * *

An Egyptian man, Shadi, had arrived soon after bearing similar Items. Mokuba knew enough about Egyptian mythology to refuse his offer of the Scales, not wanting everything to come down to the matter of a heart's weight versus a feather's. He begrudgingly allowed Shadi's efforts as he used his Millennium Key to enter the depths of Seto's shattered mind, and watched as the man sucked in air and stood, unseeing.

Hours later, Shadi had returned to himself. His breathing was harsh and erratic, sweat trailing down his face, as if he had woken from a nightmare about drowning. Afterwards he refused to even consider judging Seto with the Scales—out of pity or fear, Mokuba wasn't sure.

The only words he said before leaving were "Darkness. Everywhere."

Part of Mokuba was glad Shadi didn't elaborate.

* * *

There were times when he woke up shivering and sweating, dreaming of Death-T and Penalty Games. In some respects the torment was self-inflicted, for Mokuba watched the footage they'd recorded at least once a week.

For better or for worse, their argument before his Capsule Monsters match, and the impending Experience of Death when Yugi won, was the last time his brother had spoken to him and interacted with him. Every fiber of his being wished Seto had cared, and if Mokuba had known it would be the last time, to his knowledge, that they'd see one another, perhaps he wouldn't have taken Yugi's hand.

Cold, unfeeling eyes were better than unseeing eyes. Or maybe they weren't. Mokuba could never decide which was better and which was worse. So he replayed the footage until it was a blur, every word and action memorized, and still he continued to watch, as if searching for something that wasn't there.

* * *

"How long do you think forever will be," Ryou had asked once, as if he didn't already know what forever was.

* * *

If not for the old photograph, by now he'd have forgotten Seto's smile completely. He wonders how long it'd take for even that to fade—forever, Mokuba hopes. Whenever Yugi or his friends visit he is sure to show it off, to remind them and himself that Seto wasn't always bad; someone had to, with Daimon gone.

At first he wasn't used to their hugs—Yugi's were too warm, Miho's were cloying, Joey's were awkward, Tristan's too hard, Tea's too soft, Ryou's far away—but Mokuba learned to savor them in time.

They weren't Seto's smile and would never be, but they were similar.

* * *

Mokuba considered Seto's actions from before and after his encounters with Yugi, and marveled at the metaphorical burned bridges his brother had created for them. Daimon, the one person Seto was kind to as a child besides Mokuba, had been left for dead by his own hand. Gozaburo, too, was dead, keeling over of a heart attack the moment his brother had claimed the company for his own.

The other Game Masters had been fired after their losses to Yugi, and there was a long line of card thefts that Seto claimed full responsibility for. The ensuing power vacuum in the world of Duel Monsters had briefly propelled the Kageyama Sisters to new heights, but Yugi ensured, at least, that his brother's spotless dueling record remained untarnished save the defeat at Death-T.

And, of course, there was the matter of trying to kill Yugi's friends, Yugi, and Mokuba at Death-T on live television. How messed up was it to have _that_ be one of the last memories of his brother?

(And how messed up was it, Mokuba thought glumly, that by now he was willing to endure the memory solely because his brother was conscious during it?)

* * *

He'd vowed to wait forever.

He knows forever, now.

He lives in forever.

* * *

Mokuba tries to ignore the most crucial thing of all, the words that burrow into his chest and eat away at him from the inside.

As always, he fails to do so.

Yugi had said that his brother would wake up if he could rid himself of the darkness of his heart.

Not when.

 _If_.

And now, 20 years after the fact, Mokuba is at a crossroads.

Once more, he reaches towards the forms that will make whatever path he chooses official.

He can continue keeping Seto eternally alive with the hope of awakening, or turn the machines off to give his brother eternal rest.

Mokuba's hand wavers as he makes his choice.

* * *

 _This story was meant to be posted on September 12, the 20th anniversary of the final Toei Death-T episode where Seto got Mind Crushed, but I just couldn't wait that long. Pegasus never appeared in the Toei anime since it was canceled before he could, so I gave him a different appearance and slightly different traits to reflect what he might have been like if it had continued. Shadi is also alive at this point, like he was in his first early manga/Toei anime arc. I decided for the purpose of this story that the brown-haired blue-eyed Kaiba from the Toei movie is a version of Cyber Kaiba, who appeared in a novelization of the manga and antagonized Yugi before Seto woke up from the Mind Crush._

 _Which choice Mokuba makes is up to the reader to decide._


End file.
